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Researchers spend a lot of time debating whether any altruistic act is ever truly selfless because we benefit so much when we are kind to others. I think of kindness like laughter: we might be laughing because we want someone else to feel good about their joke, but mostly we laugh because it feels good. Like laughter, kindness is a terrific happiness habit, good for both our physical and emotional well-being.
Did you know that kinder people actually live longer, healthier lives? People who volunteer tend to experience fewer aches and pains. Giving help to others protects overall health twice as much as aspirin protects against heart disease. People 55 and older who volunteer for two or more organizations have an impressive 44 percent lower likelihood of dying—and that’s after sifting out every other contributing factor, including physical health, exercise, gender, habits like smoking, marital status, and many more. This is a stronger effect than exercising four times a week or going to church; it means that volunteering is nearly as beneficial to our health as quitting smoking!
We feel so good when we give because we get what researchers call a “helpers high,” or a distinct physical sensation associated with helping. About half of participants in one study report that they feel stronger and more energetic after helping others; many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of self-worth. This is probably a literal “high,” similar to a drug-induced high: for example, the act of making a financial donation triggers the reward center in our brains that is responsible for dopamine-mediated euphoria. (For more on the “helper’s high,” check out this essay by James Baraz and Shoshana Alexander, published this month on Greater Good.)
Finally, nearest and dearest to my heart, kindness makes us happy. Volunteer work substantially reduces symptoms of depression; both helping others and receiving help is associated with lowered anxiety and depression.
This may be especially true for kids. Adolescents who identify their primary motive as helping others are three times happier than those who lack such altruistic motivation. Similarly, teens who are giving are also happier and more active, involved, excited, and engaged than their less engaged counterparts. Generous behavior reduces adolescent depression and suicide risk, and several studies have shown that teenagers who volunteer are less likely to fail a subject in school, get pregnant, or abuse substances. Teens who volunteer also tend to be more socially competent and have higher self-esteem.
It isn’t just that kind people also tend to be healthier and happier, or that happy, healthy people are more kind. Experiments have actually demonstrated again and again that kindness toward others actually causes us to be happier, improves our health, and lengthens our lives.
So if we want to raise kids that are happy and healthy, one of the best things we can do is teach them to be kind. Next week I’ll be giving some tips for HOW to raise kind children, but for starters, we need to think about kindness and generosity as a skill that we teach kids, and practice with them.
What do your kids do to practice kindness? How have you encouraged kindness, generosity, and altruism in your children? Please post your ideas in the comments and I’ll incorporate as many as I can into next week’s posting.
© 2010 Christine Carter, Ph.D.
Source: Greater Good Magazine, a personal favorite of mine! y
May 21st, 2010
Categories: Child development | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
How do we ensure that we are not inadvertantly squashing our children’s self esteem with our methods of discipline? Below is a link to a good resource for how to use positive discipline techniques to help your child(ren) understand the consequences of negative behavior while builing self-esteem.
- yalda
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By the Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education
How do young children learn self-control, self-help, ways to get along with others, and family and school procedures? Such learning occurs when parents and teachers of infants, toddlers, or preschoolers are continuously involved in setting limits, encouraging desired behaviors, and making decisions about managing children.
When making these decisions, caregivers often ask themselves these questions: Am I disciplining in a way that hurts or helps this child’s self-esteem? Will my discipline help the child develop self-control?
Click here to read methods and language that can be used in handling common situations involving young children.
May 13th, 2010
Categories: Child development | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
By Kendall King and Lyn Fogle, Georgetown University
Summary of study:
In responding to parents’ questions or concerns about raising bilingual children, professionals should warmly encourage the use of two languages in the home. We know that parents’ use of their first language is important in providing children a rich linguistic environment (Snow, 1990) as well as in promoting bilingualism, which can become an important resource for the child, family, and wider community. Parents should be directed to practical resources such as The Bilingual Family Newsletter (www.bilingualfamilynewsletter.com) and the Why, How, and When Should My Child Learn a Second Language? brochure (www.cal.org/resources/brochures/whyhowwhen_brochure.pdf). Perhaps most importantly, parents should be encouraged to be aware of the quantity and quality of their children’s exposure to both languages and to think about creating a “safe space” for the minority language to flourish at home.
To read the entire article, click here.
May 13th, 2010
Categories: Child development, Language Resources | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
By Corey Heller, Multilingual Living, May 2010
What child, bilingual, multilingual or monolingual, can resist responding to a parent who is clearly wrong!?
Want to find out if your bilingual child understands what you are saying? Want to get your bilingual child to respond to you?
Then play the No Game!
It will be hard for your child to not answer you when you go out of your way to be totally and completely wrong!
During the day make statements to your child that are clearly wrong. For example, when pointing to a cat say, “Oh, look, there is a dog!” Or in the morning, say to your child, “Good night.”
You can encourage even longer sentences and discussion based on your statements and questions. For example, you might say, “Your math teacher, Mr. Smith, sure did give you a lot of reading homework!” when you know that your child’s math teacher is named Mrs. Kennedy and the reading teacher is named Mr. Hill and neither gave any homework on that day.
What multilingual fun can be had by just being very, very wrong as much as possible!
Source: multiLingualLiving.com
May 13th, 2010
Categories: Child development, Language Resources | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
Below is a link to a blog posting on how to “discipline” a three year old. It’s not rocket science, but a good reminder to all of us to remember to be patient with our kids lest we want to teach them to be impatient and disrespectful.
One of the most important rules at Golestan is that all staff always be loving and respectful to children.
Another is to control the level of stimulation the children receive at all times. No visual noise (multi-colored posters or art work posted all over the walls) or auditory noise (high pitched, electronic, or frenetic music etc).
When things get chaotic (i.e. during transitions), redirect the children by (for example) singing a song. In fact, every transition at our school is marked by a specific song that the kids and teachers sing together - for example, cleanup, washing hands, gathering at the lunch table, lining up for the bathroom, going outside… even naptime.
My interpretation of the take home message of this posting is this:
1. always try to view your child’s behavior from his/her perspective;
2. be patient and loving, lending a helping hand as a means to an end;
3. reduce chaos and overstimulation for your child;
4. offer clear boundaries and be consistent in supporting these boundaries, but with love and patience; and
5. teach by example: never lie, hit, disrespect, manipulate, control, demean… unless you want your child to follow suit. Instead, be gentle, patient, kind, loving, empathetic, generous, confident, giving, strong, altruistic, and any other trait you personally feel defines a good person.
I believe that remembering these few basic principles will help us raise children with the qualities we (at Golestan) strive to teach our children:
Curiosity :: Altruism :: Generosity :: Compassion :: Confidence :: Kindness :: Community
http://commonsenseparenting.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-do-i-discipline-my-three-year-old.html
February 24th, 2010
Categories: Child development | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
A few notes: This study was conducted in the UK. I’m not sure of the validity, but intuitively speaking, the results seem viable. Regarding speech delays, all children develop differently. There are many factors that come into play that may affect a child’s speech development.
This study by no means indicates a direct correlation between television and speech delays, it merely illustrates a relationship between the two.
- yalda
The youngsters who struggle to speak because their parents let them watch too much TV
4th January 2010
Nearly a quarter of boys - and one in seven girls - are struggling to learn to talk because thousands of households keep their TV sets on, constantly making it difficult for them to understand the speech of adults around them.
A survey revealed how 22 per cent of boys and 13 per cent of girls have trouble developing speech and understanding others.
To read the entire article, click here.
February 16th, 2010
Categories: Child development, Language Resources, Uncategorized | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
By Po Bronson
…Since Thomas could walk, he has heard constantly that he’s smart. Not just from his parents but from any adult who has come in contact with this precocious child. When he applied to Anderson for kindergarten, his intelligence was statistically confirmed. The school is reserved for the top one percent of all applicants, and an IQ test is required. Thomas didn’t just score in the top one percent. He scored in the top one percent of the top one percent.
But as Thomas has progressed through school, this self-awareness that he’s smart hasn’t always translated into fearless confidence when attacking his schoolwork. In fact, Thomas’s father noticed just the opposite. �Thomas didn’t want to try things he wouldn’t be successful at,� his father says. �Some things came very quickly to him, but when they didn’t, he gave up almost immediately, concluding, �I’m not good at this.’ � With no more than a glance, Thomas was dividing the world into two�things he was naturally good at and things he wasn’t.
To read the full article, click here.
I also highly recommend this author’s book, Nurture Shock. See purchase book see link on our resources page.
- yalda
February 16th, 2010
Categories: Child development | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
Scientific American Mind - January 21, 2010
The Neural Advantage of Speaking 2 Languages
Bilingual people process certain words faster than others
By Melinda Wenner
The ability to speak a second language isn’t the only thing that distinguishes bilingual people from their monolingual counterparts—their brains work differently, too. Research has shown, for instance, that children who know two languages more easily solve problems that involve misleading cues. A new study published in Psychological Science reveals that knowledge of a second language—even one learned in adolescence—affects how people read in their native tongue. The findings suggest that after learning a second language, people never look at words the same way again.
Eva Van Assche, a bilingual psychologist at the University of Ghent in Belgium, and her colleagues recruited 45 native Dutch-speaking students from their university who had learned English at age 14 or 15. The researchers asked the participants to read a collection of Dutch sentences, some of which included cognates—words that look similar and have equivalent meanings in both languages (such as “sport,” which means the same thing in both Dutch and English). They also read other sentences containing only noncognate words in Dutch.
Van Assche and her colleagues recorded the participants’ eye movements as they read. They found that the subjects spent, on average, eight fewer milliseconds gazing at cognate words than control words, which suggests that their brains processed the dual-language words more quickly than words found only in their native language.
“The most important implication of the study is that even when a person is reading in his or her native language, there is an influence of knowledge of the nondominant second language,” Van Assche notes. “Becoming a bilingual changes one of people’s most automatic skills.” She plans to investigate next whether people who are bilingual also process auditory language information differently. “Many questions remain,” she says.
Note: This story was originally printed with the title “Bilingual Brains”
February 16th, 2010
Categories: Child development, Language Resources | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
Count yourself lucky if you have access to any form of immersion program in your minority language. The real advantage of these is that the child hears the language spoken by many different people and during a wide variety of activities. But, the “sink or swim” aspect of full immersion worries some, as does a value system rooted in a foreign culture.
The advantage of immersion programs
By far the best way for a preschooler to excel in a foreign language is an immersion program such as a full immersion daycare or preschool which can be especially useful if neither parent speaks the minority language. Why? For better or worse, your child learns far more from other kids than from any adult. So, take advantage of this when it works in your favor!
Immersion schools are an outstanding resource, provided the overall academic level is comparable to regular schools. If immersion programs are available in your area, take the time to visit and to seriously consider them. A second best option is to join or start a playgroup.
What to expect from full immersion
Children who have some foundation in a language can really hit the fast track when attending an immersion preschool or daycare. But even monolinguals do much better than their parents could ever hope. Most schools admit a good number of monolingual children with no prior exposure to the immersion language. The more a child without previous language exposure attends the better, but three full days per week is typically the minimum (or five half days.) It also depends upon your child’s knack for language, motivation, outgoing nature, etc. Below is what you can expect from three days per week of immersion.
First month: Everything is new, and the child will resist the change vehemently. Typically, after the initial crying bouts, he may be quieter and more reserved than his normal self at school and may resist playing with the other kids. Remember that this sort of behavior is extremely common even if there isn’t a new language involved — it is a normal toddler reaction to any large change!
Second month: The child begins to adjust to the new situation. He opens up and plays more with the other kids and begins to learn the basic words (yes, no, food items, etc.) He begins to like and gain trust in the teachers.
Third month and beyond: The child becomes comfortable with the situation and starts to enjoy himself, really accelerating his language learning. He has made a few friends and looks forward to seeing them. (Remember, happy kids learn the fastest.) At this stage, he’ll increase his vocabulary much faster and start to combine words into simple sentences, maybe even picking up some basic grammar. If you can keep up this kind of language interaction, you’re really off to the races. After about one semester, he will be comfortable using the minority language and will be quickly catching up to his peers — well on his way to speaking a foreign language, just by playing and having fun!
Reservations about immersion programs
Some parents would love to enroll their child at the local immersion program, but they still don’t do it for a variety of reasons — they don’t like the program, the teachers, or the facility. The pros and cons of such a situation are highly individual, of course. In terms of the overall content of an immersion program, something many mono-lingual parents worry is “too much,” meaning that a foreign language is one thing, but they worry about forcing their child to adhere to the cultural norms and values associated with the language as well.
“I’d love to have my girl learn Chinese, but I don’t want her to grow up becoming Chinese. I really have a hard time relating to their value system. And it is not how I’d raise her myself,” is one example. Or, “I feel like I’m sending my boy to Japan every morning. I’m not sure how good that is once he’ll start regular school.” Conversely, parents elsewhere in the world who consider sending their children to an American school to learn English worry about ‘coca-cola culture’, consumerism and a too competitive school environment. It is obviously the decision of each school how much they emphasize the cultural component, and some parent’s will be all enthusiastic, whereas others will feel like outsiders in their child’s upbringing.
So, if you disagree with aspects of the program, then what? Do you go with the language advantage and turn a blind eye to a culture that is foreign to you? Or do you nix the whole idea? The issue is probably a question of timing. If this immersion situation will last only until kindergarten, the child will be socialized many times over before he reaches adulthood — and will still have established an incredibly solid language foundation. That foundation can then be maintained throughout childhood, without the need to continue the immersion program. Another major benefit in early immersion is the establishment of early and enduring friendships. After a few years in an immersion program, the child will gain minority language friends, further motivating him to keep up his language.
Again, the general rule seems to be the earlier the better if you are not sure about the immersion program. The further along the school system the child is, the more risk it involves, becoming increasingly disruptive in the education. With a preschooler you can afford to try out the program and see if the reservations can be outweighed by the gain in language skills. For older children you want to feel pretty confident that the program is right for your child not only in the language component, but comprehensively.
February 10th, 2010
Categories: Child development, Language Resources, Program Notes | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
Both approaches were crafted early in the past century. Adherents say they have stood the test of time, laying strong foundations for young students in a more thorough, ‘whole brain’ way
Cathryn Atkinson
Sept. 16, 2009 01:38 PM EDT
Private education in Canada offers a bewildering array of teaching models, with religious schools, home schooling, traditional, sports and arts academies, and even language immersion programs still considered beyond the norm exemplified by most public schools.
But Montessori and Waldorf education programs seem to head the list of alternative educational options offered to parents, despite both systems being about a century old.
Their supporters, however, say both offer child-centred education philosophies that are growing in popularity. What’s more, they say, the schools are producing happier, more academically successful pupils.
The differences between Montessori and Waldorf are in the details.
The Waldorf education program was developed by Austrian philosopher Rudolph Steiner, who wrote The Education of The Child in 1907. He opened the first school based on his principles in 1919 to serve the children of cigar factory employees in Stuttgart, Germany.
Ryan Lindsay, the president of The Waldorf Association of Ontario, says the key stratagem behind a Waldorf education is providing “the right thing at the right time” in a child’s curriculum.
Mr. Lindsay is critical of the tendency to intellectualize children at an earlier age, saying it emphasizes academic development over physical, social, emotional and creative development. Arts and environmental studies are compulsory throughout a pupil’s academic career at Waldorf schools, and Mr. Lindsay says such an approach develops a well-rounded person.
”We make sure we focus on teaching children how to think and not what to think. We like to think we are laying the foundation in a more thorough way so that when children get to a certain age the approach aids their intellectual development,” he says.
Mary Paradis, the director of development at the Vancouver Waldorf School, says she was once one of those parents who selected the school through a combination of research and intuition about what Waldorf could do for her youngsters.
The school, founded in 1971, offers a preschool to Grade 12 program and currently has 300 students on two campuses in North Vancouver. Ms. Paradis, who grew up in a family of teachers, came to love the program so much that she sought employment with the school.
”We had moved to Vancouver and I was one of those parents looking for an alternative education,” she recalls. “I was blown away by what they do. Looking at my own children I thought there was more out there for them. And the result is they are both very excited about school, they love learning and they are inspired.”
Ms. Paradis says the Waldorf aim is a “whole brain approach,” with most schools emphasizing a left-brain approach (logical, sequential, rational, analytical and objective) at the expense of the right side of the brain (intuitive, holistic, synthesizing and subjective). All elements are important in Waldorf.
”The social, emotional and spiritual are part of a child’s connection with the world. All our children do movement, visual and drama, along with algebra and everything else,” she said.
Like Waldorf, the Montessori system of education has its germination in the early decades of the past century.
Montessori was founded by Italy’s first female physician, Maria Montessori, in 1907, after she became concerned by the educational neglect of special needs children. Her first pupils, eight-year-olds considered “defective” by the Italian state, not only passed their national literacy exams, but also scored higher than average in reading and writing.
Nancy Lowden, who founded the Montessori School of Calgary in 1983, met the granddaughter of the founder in Toronto in 1971.
”I was at McGill University and back in Toronto for a job interview. Renilde Montessori was in Toronto for several years setting up a school and I visited. At the time I really didn’t know who she was. She invited me to watch the children in the classroom and asked me what I saw. I told her I didn’t know what I was looking at,” she recalls.
Ms. Lowden said the children were all focused on a task, happy, quiet, “and obviously learning.” The experience brought her into the program as her career, and she set up her own school upon moving to Calgary.
”I wanted my own children to have the experience,” she says.
”We offer an orderly and predicable environment to provide support. When learning something new, a child is led through a series of steps, from initial steps to mastery.”
Katherine Poyntz, the executive director of the Canadian Council of Montessori Administrators, says that, while there was a wide discrepancy in how schools adhering to the Montessori name are run, her organization was founded in 1978 to enforce high standards and offer advice to parents and educators on best practices.
”The [Montessori] character in all the schools, what they have in common, is that three-year, multiage group. Each Montessori classroom is a community,” she says. “Lessons are geared towards a child’s learning and not a teacher’s teaching. Children are encouraged to explore, to take responsibility.”
Mr. Lindsay says there are fewer Waldorf schools in Canada compared with Montessori Schools. This, he said, is due to prospective Waldorf schools needing to gain accreditation and adhering to strict Waldorf guidelines. In contrast, the Montessori name is not trademarked and it is easier for new schools to adopt the name.
”It means parents need to do more research when looking at Montessori compared with Waldorf,” he said.
THE EDUCAITONAL MODELS
Waldorf
There are approximately 2,500 Waldorf schools around the world.
Educational practices include:
- Early education is built around learning through the senses and experiences with practical activities.
- Reading is started around the age of 7.
- Exposure to computers, television and recorded music is discouraged in the early years.
- The elementary school years are considered a time to develop emotional and artistic intelligence.
- For teenage students, there is a greater emphasis on abstract thought and social responsibility.
Montessori
There are roughly 22,000 Montessori schools around the world.
Educational practices include:
- Children are taught in three-year age groups: Birth to 3, 3 to 6, 6 to 9, 9 to 12, and 12 to 15.
- Children are seen as capable of being responsible for their choices and encouraged to make decisions.
- The child is closely observed while carrying out exercises to ensure the best ongoing curriculum development for their abilities.
- Materials and activities challenge the senses with a hands-on approach and are used in a way that allows children to practice, repeat and self-correct before moving on in the program.
- The classroom environment is built to a child-size scale.
Sources: The Waldorf School Association of Ontario; The Canadian Council of Montessori School Administrators.
February 9th, 2010
Categories: Child development | Author: Yalda | Comments: No Comments |
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